Why is this so hard to talk with someone if you don't understand or get something if you are new!makes no sense to me!!!
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Since you are new it is always suggested to start with unhex or halo and crossroads to clear the way and to remove any obstacles known or unknown that may be in you and your family way. Trust me it will help clear the way and lossen up tension. If you search through the forum you'll also find alot of your questions answered and alot of great testimonials of people who have also been in your shoes. I was once new and have gotten so much help from so many kind hearts on this forum. We are all conjure family. And also try not to get so tensed up certain attitudes also can push people away just giving some helpful advice from a women myself who is too new and learning.