I screwed up and badly! I need guidance.

Hey y'all hope all is well. Long story short BF has been locked up since February. He was looking at 3-7 years. Through the good grace of God, COVID, Lala's unhex, halo, and court candles he was released 2.5 weeks ago. He is on a monitor, and he is ready to move on with his life. His kids did not know he was being released it was all so quick. We we got spotted at the store. The plan was for him to come home with me, well since the kids spotted him he didn't even have time to shit shave and shower. The plan was to suprise the kids the next morning cause it was already late. Fast forward the kids are still with him and he is paranoid of COVID. The kid's mom is a nurse. They had 5 people test positive at her job in the last 1.5 weeks. She is now forced into quarantine. Well to give things a push I lit DA with Ahari over the weekend. Well not only was he feeling it so was every man in my inbox. He was in a pleasant mood with the expectation the kids would back on mother's day with their mom. Well that didn't happen cause the mom was running a fever. So I made him think I was out and about hanging and doing me, and i was really on the couch, had him think i was outside without him cause he is paranoid about COVID and the kids catching it. Well fast forward to the last 24 hours I think I pushed things too far. I was at the store and he asked, why I didn't call don't I care anymore and we could've went to the store togther. He said what you found another dude? I told him he wasn't the only one and basically threw it back at him to get his attention cause I'm lonely and selfish at the moment and it backfired. I've seen this man for a total of 2 hours since his release on April 28th! Prior to that it was February. When I lit DA he was all in my messages, and calling me. I told him when I was on the phone at the store how I threw it in his face that if you don't pay attention to your woman another man will, well he got really upset said I was out there bad and to do me. Well here we are 24 hours later. All I wanted was to make him jealous, realize what he has, and pay some attention to me. Even the mother of his children said she couldn't understand the paranoia cause if he missed me like he said he did, she said he could've left the kids at home with the parents. I've been with this man almost 4 years. There has been a lot of ups and downs and things were going great, but I admit I was selfish. Under the circumstances I get it, but understand my needs. Anyway. I lit sweetening last night along side Ahari. Sweetening finished by the time i got home. I burned the petition and threw it in the river. As of now, crickets. What do I do? I blame myself. I should've never went there but I did, but not the reaction I wanted. I just wanted a little love and attention and not the kind through the damn phone. What next? 😭😭😭😭